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Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
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Under conditions of competition, standards are set by the morally least reputable agent.
Show me a sane man and I will cure him for you.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
Hofstadter\'s Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take into account Hofstadter\'s Law.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
Everything that can be invented has been invented.
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I\'d stop eating chocolate, but I\'m no quitter.
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Computers are useless; they can only give you answers.
Nine out of ten doctors agree that one out of ten doctors is an idiot.
If you think it\'s simple, then you have misunderstood the problem.
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Having the source code is the difference between buying a house and renting an apartment.
Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
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We are Dyslexia of Borg. Fusistance is retile. Your ass will be laminated.
You can only find truth with logic if you have already found truth without it.
My current job sucks so hard, black holes are going green with envy.
I took a course in speed reading and was able to read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It\'s about Russia.
In this war ? as in others ? I am less interested in honoring the dead than in preventing the dead.
If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
True. When your hammer is C++, everything begins to look like a thumb.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
If there?s one thing I know it?s God does love a good joke.
Heav\'n hath no rage like love to hatred turn\'d, Nor Hell a fury, like a woman scorn\'d.
Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.
2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
Humor is a rubber sword - it allows you to make a point without drawing blood.
Glory is fleeting, but obscurity is forever.
If Tyranny and Oppression come to this land, it will be in the guise of fighting a foreign enemy.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.
Of all the enemies to public liberty, war is perhaps the most to be dreaded because it comprises and develops the germ of every other.
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If I held you any closer I would be on the other side of you.
All sorts of computer errors are now turning up. You\'d be surprised to know the number of doctors who claim they are treating pregnant men.
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Reality is that which, when you stop believing in it, doesn\'t go away.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
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Look at you in war. There has never been a just one, never an honorable one, on the part of the instigator of the war.
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Politics is the art of looking for trouble, finding it everywhere, diagnosing it incorrectly, and applying the wrong remedies.
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The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
Testing proves the presence, not the absence, of bugs.
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A narcissist is someone better looking than you are.
To sit alone with my conscience will be judgment enough for me.
The most likely way for the world to be destroyed, most experts agree, is by accident. That\'s where we come in; we\'re computer professionals. We cause accidents.
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Richard Nixon is a no good, lying bastard. He can lie out of both sides of his mouth at the same time, and if he ever caught himself telling the truth, he\'d lie just to keep his hand in.
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Total absence of humor renders life impossible.
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Why did God create dentists? -- In his infinite love, he thought it would be charitable to His creatures to let them see what Hell is like, during their lives.
There are some experiences in life which should not be demanded twice from any man, and one of them is listening to the Brahms Requiem.
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If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
In Germany they first came for the Communists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Communist. Then they came for the Jews, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a Jew. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I didn\'t speak up because I wasn\'t a trade unionist. Then they came for the Catholics, and I didn\'t speak up because I was a Protestant. Then they came for me - and by that time no one was left to speak up.
Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
Politicians are like diapers. They should be changed often, and for the same reason.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
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Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
Programming is like sex: one mistake and you have to support it for the rest of your life.
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If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
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Invading Iraq after 9/11 was like invading Mexico after Pearl Harbor.
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As nightfall does not come at once, neither does oppression. In both instances, there is a twilight when everything remains unchanged. And it is in such twilight that we all must be most aware of change in the air ? however slight ? lest we become unwitting victims of the darkness.
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The right to swing my fist ends where the other man\'s nose begins.
The question of whether a computer can think is no more interesting than the question of whether a submarine can swim.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
We don\'t make mistakes, we just have happy little accidents.
Put your hand on a hot stove for a minute, and it seems like an hour. Sit with a pretty girl for an hour, and it seems like a minute. THAT\'S relativity.
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Democracy does not guarantee equality of conditions - it only guarantees equality of opportunity.
The cynics are right nine times out of ten.
I was raised in the Jewish tradition, taught never to marry a Gentile woman, shave on a Saturday night and, most especially, never to shave a Gentile woman on a Saturday night.
Mother-in-law = A woman who destroys her son-in-law\'s peace of mind by giving him a piece of hers.
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
There\'s no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.
The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
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I was raised in the West. The west of Texas. It\'s pretty close to California. In more ways than Washington, D.C., is close to California.
They show you how detergents take out bloodstains. I think if you\'ve got a T-shirt with bloodstains all over it, maybe your laundry isn\'t your biggest problem.
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If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
I\'m not going to have some reporters pawing through our papers. We are the president.
I find that the harder I work, the more luck I seem to have.
Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws.
I\'m not a member of any organized political party, I\'m a Democrat!
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Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
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A man can\'t get rich if he takes proper care of his family.
Subtlety is the art of saying what you think and getting out of the way before it is understood.
If it weren\'t for electricity we\'d all be watching television by candlelight.
If the United Nations once admits that international disputes can be settled by using force, then we will have destroyed the foundation of the organization and our best hope of establishing a world order.
Getting an education was a bit like a communicable sexual disease. It made you unsuitable for a lot of jobs and then you had the urge to pass it on.
Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy -- the mother.
When you do the common things in life in an uncommon way, you will command the attention of the world.
Believe those who are seeking the truth. Doubt those who find it.
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I am ready to meet my Maker. Whether my Maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.
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The truth is more important than the facts.
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Is it not a strange blindness on our part to teach publicly the techniques of warfare and to reward with medals those who prove to be the most adroit killers?
The wit makes fun of other persons; the satirist makes fun of the world; the humorist makes fun of himself.
Be tolerant of the human race. Your whole family belongs to it -- and some of your spouse\'s family too.
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He is one of those people who would be enormously improved by death.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
If you give a man a fish, he will eat for today. If you teach him to fish, he\'ll understand why some people think golf is exciting.
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The only way to combat criminals is by not voting for them.
The competent programmer is fully aware of the limited size of his own skull. He therefore approaches his task with full humility, and avoids clever tricks like the plague.
The role of the president of the United States is to support the decisions that are made by the people of Israel. It is not up to us to pick and choose from among the political parties.
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Our children are not born to hate, they are raised to hate.
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Programming is one of the most difficult branches of applied mathematics; the poorer mathematicians had better remain pure mathematicians.
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Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
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If you are going through hell, keep going.
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The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
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Where humor is concerned there are no standards - no one can say what is good or bad, although you can be sure that everyone will.
\'Everything you say is boring and incomprehensible\', she said, \'but that alone doesn\'t make it true.\'
We have art to save ourselves from the truth.
A sense of humor is part of the art of leadership, of getting along with people, of getting things done.
I believe that sex is a beautiful thing between two people. Between five, it\'s fantastic.
Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.
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The artist is nothing without the gift, but the gift is nothing without work.
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2 + 2 = 5, for extremely large values of 2.
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In the begining there was nothing and God said \'Let there be light\', and there was still nothing but everybody could see it.
It is the job of thinking people not to be on the side of the executioners.
I\'m very proud of my gold pocket watch. My grandfather, on his deathbed, sold me this watch.
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He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
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It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education.
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He managed to stupid himself right into the White House.
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Diplomacy is the art of saying \'Nice doggie!\'... \'til you can find a rock.
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Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal.
The years of peak mental activity are undoubtedly between the ages of four and eighteen. At four we know all the questions, at eighteen all the answers.
It\'s not that I\'m afraid to die, I just don\'t want to be there when it happens.
I\'m all in favor of keeping dangerous weapons out of the hands of fools. Let\'s start with typewriters.
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The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.
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Millions long for immortality who do not know what to do with themselves on a rainy Sunday afternoon.
I don\'t know anything about music. In my line you don\'t have to.
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
The internet is not something you just dump something on. It\'s not a truck. It\'s a series of tubes!
A radioactive cat has eighteen half-lives.
The de facto role of the US armed forces will be to keep the world safe for our economy and open to our cultural assault.
People demand freedom of speech to make up for the freedom of thought which they avoid.
Talk sense to a fool and he calls you foolish.
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I don\'t pray because I don\'t want to bore God.
Science is what people understand well enough to explain to a computer. All else is art.
It is time I stepped aside for a less experienced and less able man.
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Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft... and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.
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After I\'m dead I\'d rather have people ask why I have no monument than why I have one.
Computer dating is fine, if you\'re a computer.
Moral indignation is jealousy with a halo.
If there is no Hell, a good many preachers are obtaining money under false pretences.
A picture is worth a thousand words (which is why it takes a thousand times longer to load...)
Where are we going, and why am I in this handbasket?
The Bible was a consolation to a fellow alone in the old cell. The lovely thin paper with a bit of matress stuffing in it, if you could get a match, was as good a smoke as I ever tasted.
A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.
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Attention to health is life\'s greatest hindrance.
Maybe this world is another planet\'s Hell.
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My advice to you is get married: if you find a good wife you\'ll be happy; if not, you\'ll become a philosopher.
A scholar who cherishes the love of comfort is not fit to be deemed a scholar.
First you forget names, then you forget faces. Next you forget to pull your zipper up and finally, you forget to pull it down.
All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.
Sterling\'s Corollary to Clarke\'s Law: Any sufficiently advanced garbage is indistinguishable from magic.
If you need more than five lines to prove something, then you are on the wrong track
Life would be so much easier if we could just see the source code.
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Honolulu, it\'s got everything. Sand for the children, sun for the wife, and sharks for the wife\'s mother.
If it wasn\'t for lawyers, we wouldn\'t need them.
Biologically speaking, if something bites you it\'s more likely to be female.
It is unbecoming for young men to utter maxims.
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I don\'t even butter my bread; I consider that cooking.
Against stupidity the (very) gods themselves contend in vain
A sure cure for seasickness is to sit under a tree.
To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance
I have spoken many a word, therefore, it is fact.
Science is like sex: sometimes something useful comes out, but that is not the reason we are doing it
Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away.
The dangerous patriot ... is a defender of militarism and its ideals of war and glory.
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UNIX is simple. It just takes a genius to understand its simplicity.
To jaw-jaw is always better than to war-war.
I wouldn\'t mind dying - it\'s the business of having to stay dead that scares the shit out of me.
Egotist: a person more interested in himself than in me.
最終更新日 : 2012/01/13/(Fri) 11:18
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